Afternoon | Tuesday, October 8th, 2019 | UC Santa Barbara
Faye Serrano
I pushed his wheelchair down the stony walkway of the navy barracks. He was having a bad day. He has more bad days than good, but right now he was particularly gloomy, even for him. He was not saying much, but I talk to him like normal. He has been with me for almost a year, and I’m used to his silent protests by now. I had become a master at pretending that everything was fine.
“Okay,” I said, “Should we stop and get a quick bite at Carrillo now or would you like to wait until after Psych?”
He did not respond. He had never been interested in food, not nearly as much as I am anyway. Baron has never worked and lived in a large off campus apartment on his own while I’m working two jobs to support myself so I would not accrue an outrageous amount of student loans by I time I obtained my Bachelors. Our one meal together each day in the dining commons is when I try to eat as much as possible, so that I could spend next to nothing on food rest of the time. My strained financial situation is only a temporary one, I tell myself, I was going to apply to graduate school in the Fall, and when I get in, I will have a stipend.
“Okay, let’s go to class then, hopefully it will work up your appetite and you will eat more and not just stare at me when I wolf down food.” I laughed. He was still silent.
We get to class and I wheeled him to the first row, so that he can be up close to screen and to the professor. After the first few lectures he had claimed he couldn’t see well, and I told him that was interesting as his eyesight only temporarily malfunctions in this lecture. I knew the real reason he wanted to be up close was because he has developed a crush on Dr. Walsh, but he doesn’t know that I know it.
“We have almost twenty minutes before the lecture, do you want to play a game?”
He glared up at me, “I’m not a child, Faye, stop talking to me like I’m a child.”
Oh, talking now, are we?
“I don’t think you’re a child. I just thought of a game and wanted to see if you want to play with me. A polite way to say no would be to just tell me you’re not interested.” I said innocently.
His glare softened, and he thinks he has offended me. Good, this is a teachable moment.
“I’m… I’m sorry, Faye, if I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to.” He looked down, his gaze shifting. I recognize that look. He wasn’t truly sorry, but he has learned the polite thing to say.
“Thank you for saying that, Baron, I feel better now because you said that.” My smile signaling encouragement. “Now, if you do not want to play a game with me, then, would you like to watch a show?”
His eyes lit up.
“Okay, but you will have to keep the volume down, because we are inside the lecture hall, and we have to use our inside voice, and the people on the show have to use their inside voice as well.”
“Okay!” He blurted, “Oops, sorry Faye, I forgot to use my inside voice…” he said, as his voice trailed down to a whisper.
I smile and handed my tablet to him with his shows already teed up.
While Baron became engrossed in the entertainment, I sat back and allow myself to relax a little. My shoulders hurt from last night’s work, and I didn’t sleep until almost two in the morning because I had the closing shift at the gym.
My last client was a young man… a tall and handsome young man by traditional standards. I normally tried to chitchat with my clients until they give me a hint that they want to be left alone, but last night I was already tired when he showed up. He had neck and shoulder pains, he said, sorry for the late drop-in, he said, but he had to fly an airplane in the morning, yes, an airplane, and had to get better.
“You’re a pilot?” I had wondered out loud, incredulous.
He smiled then, a gorgeous smile, a heart-skipped-a-beat smile. “Yes,” he said, “but it’s just a hobby for now. I don’t know if I will want to go full time doing commercial flights or anything. I’ve got other projects going on.”
I was impressed but also unimpressed. I hated guys who like to brag. He is one of those guys… what pilots on TV looked like, like Leo in Catch Me If You Can. I bet he also gets all the girls… he looks to be everyone’s type. I didn’t want to acknowledge my attraction to him but I felt I stood straighter just being near him.
But attraction or no, I was so dead tired. I stayed quiet while I gave him the best version of a sports massage that I could muster the energy for. Secretly cursing when he asked for more pressure when I was already giving my all. He didn’t say much when he left. But when I looked down at the signed receipt, I saw that he had written in his mobile number next to it. I didn’t know if I should feel flattered, or offended. How presumptuous, how cocky. But I quickly recognized the defense mechanism that’s worked so well to keep me alone, and yeah, lonely too.
I have been feeling lonely for a while. Since moving here for college three years ago, I really have not gotten close to anyone. The only meaningful relationship I’ve had in life was with Henri. And I left him behind when I left my home. Boys in the US were different, I’ve come to learn. Or maybe they are just different from Henri, or maybe, any one you meet later in life will always be a bit different, a bit out of place, never a perfect fit, not when compared to your first love.
The lecture hall dimmed, and I am pulled back to my seat next to Baron. And I look over to him, and see that was still engrossed in his show. Even though Baron is only maybe a couple of years younger than me, I feel as though he is my much younger brother. I have come to care for him in the last nine months that I’ve been working with him. I really hope he can feel it, even though I’m told that he could not.
I patted him gently on the shoulder, “Baron, the lecture is about to start.”
“Oh, okay.” He said, loudly, drawing attention toward us. I just smile because I’m used to getting stares now. I looked at my watch, it was five minutes past one, and the professor wasn’t here yet.
“Where is she? Where is Dr. Walsh?” Baron turned a bit too much, knocking his wheelchair against my seat.
“She will be here soon.” As I said this, a tall man walked up to the podium. Not just any man, but my handsome pilot from last night. I stared at the man on the podium. It is him, it is definitely him. He’s wearing a short sleeved collar shirt as he did to the gym, and those are definitely the biceps I massaged last night. The thought made me blush.
He leaned toward the microphone, “Hi everyone, Dr. Walsh is held up on the 101. Apparently there is a man on the freeway with a gun and the police closed it off. So she sends her apologies as well as sending me, her grad student, to give you today’s lecture. My name is Eric Santos,” he smiles, “And I’m very happy to be here.”
“No!” Baron growled, so loud that the pilot-graduate-student looked down at him with amusement, and then, his eyes fell on me, and then it was there, instant recognition.
“You?” He mouthed.
I nodded. Glad that the lights have dimmed or he would have noticed my crimson cheeks. Maybe he still did anyway.
“Huh?” He looked confused, but no more than I was. “Well,” he looked up to address the whole lecture hall, “I’m sorry to be a disappointment to some of you already. You are free to leave this lecture, it won’t hurt your grade or anything. But if you choose to stay, I will make sure that I make it worth your while.” He said, and then his eyes fell on me again, and I swear he winked at me as he mouthed, “Stay.”
We stayed, of course. To his credit, this pilot gave a fascinating lecture. But I couldn’t tell if it was just my fascination with him that made it so. Baron for one was fuming the entire time, but to Baron’s credit, he kept it mostly to himself, I was proud of him for containing his negative emotions in public. The lecture was over, and our substitute teacher signed off gracefully.
“Are you ready for lunch?” I asked Baron, all too aware that Eric was watching us.
“Yes, I guess.” He murmured.
“Okay let’s go.” I grabbed his backpack and start to push him up the ramp. I don’t know if I normally walk this slow or…
“Hey there!” Eric called.
I turn to look immediately.
“Faye, right? From last night? I thought it was you, but it was really dark in the room…”
A couple of students walking by looked at us with curiosity. I blush heavily once again.
“No, it’s not what you guys think.” He said to them, “it’s better.” He then chuckled at his own joke and then looked back at me, “sorry, I try to be funny when I feel nervous.”
“Oh, that was a joke? I thought it was a compliment.”
“It was! Of course it was!” he corrected, and smiled, “funny girl. clever, funny girl.”
He looked at Baron then and extended his hand, “Hello, I’m Eric.”
“Are you gonna be here again on Monday? When is Dr. Walsh coming back?” Baron asked, but gave his hand and allowed pilot man to shake it.
“I promise she will be here on Monday.” He smiled. “Are you guys going to get lunch? May I join you?”
“Yes, we’re going to the DLG, I mean no, Carillo, I think.” Baron said, “I don’t know if you may join us. You have to ask Miss Faye.”
“Okay, Miss Faye, may I join you for lunch?” He asked, grinning again, “after all, you have already touched my body, I feel it’s time that we got to know each other a little better.”
